The organisers of the Padraic Fallon Poetry Competition 2008 would like to thank all the entrants for their submissions. The quality and variety of styles highlighted the popularity of poetry today.
Furthermore, I would like to thank Ciaran O'Driscoll for all his hard work as our judge..
Listed below are the competition winners and the judge's comments.
The Heritage Centre will host a poetry evening in June, where prizes will be presented and Ciaran O'Driscoll
will recite some of his own poems. It promises to be a wonderful event.
Further details about this evening will be posted in due course.
First Prize and Congratulations to Jim Maguire for 'Root Zone'
Root Zone
Jim Maguire
Wexford
Second Prize
Service
Margaret Galvin
Wexford Town
Joint Third Prizes
The Cailleach
Patrick Deeley
Rathgar
Dublin 6
Talker’s Country
Tom Duddy
Galway
Runner Up Prizes
1. Exchanging Essentials
Maria Wallace
Tallagh
Dublin 24
2. The Paradox of Clouds
Stephen Duncan
London SW2
3. Ode to my Slippers
Peggy Gallagher
Sligo
4. Suburban Sonnet
Brian Kirk
Clondalkin
Dublin 22
5. Dropping Off
Gavin Duffy
Tallagh
Dublin 24
6. Spare us the Moonlight
Geraldine Mitchell
Louisbourg
Co. Mayo
7. Word Sounds
Maria Wallace
Tallagh
Dublin 24
8. Rooks Encountered
Brendan Kinnane
Athboy
Co. Meath
9. Golden
Gavin Duffy
Tallagh
Dublin 24
10. Magnolia
Alma Brayden
Sandycove
Co. Dublin
PADRAIC FALLON MEMORIAL POETRY COMPETITION
JUDGE’S COMMENTS
Apart from the important aspect of competence in the elements of poetry, what I was hoping for in the poems entered for this, the first Padraic Fallon Memorial Poetry Competition, was one or more of the following: daring and exploration in the use of words; the evocative power of language; dimensionality (more than one thing happening in a poem); phrases or sentences that touch depths; approaching an unusual subject matter; approaching a subject in an unusual way. I would, however, have been satisfied also with a simplicity that manages to avoid worn-out ideas, feelings and words; a portrayal of the everyday that shows it in a fresh light; a feeling that conveys itself in the rhythm and language of the poem rather than in bald statement.
I am happy to say that I found traces of all of these in the poems I read, amid the usual clutter of clichés, worthy statements, tired themes and approaches. Sometimes the poem I found these traces in was flawed as a unit, but I was still inclined to reward the writer for showing a spark of originality. At the same time, I also felt I had to acknowledge poems which held together beautifully, even if they weren’t as dimensional as the ones I liked that are still in need of fine tuning. Therefore my results for the competition attempt to balance these two sources of admiration which I felt for the work of the winners and the ten specially recommended poems.
First prize goes to ‘Root Zone’ (PF 20). It took me a while to see this poem as more than a haphazard collage of fragments, but I gradually came to regard it as a bit like the ‘root zone’ of its title. Often the root structures of trees have both visible and underground sections, and perhaps the same can be said of this poem. A narrative of a park-keeper going home from work seems to disappear halfway through, and the ‘root zone’ re-emerges as a memory of childhood (but perhaps it is the park-keeper’s memory) or a different connotation of the word ‘root’: home, one’s roots or origins.
‘In the root zone it is snowing again and children are stepping out of their houses to gaze skyward.’
Though childhood wonder is invoked here, a sense of menace lingers from ‘the diseased birch’ which has been ‘staring him down’ all day, and from the park-keeper’s departure for home:
‘At closing, the key turning in the lock is night’s door opening behind him the pull of pedals against the homeward hill, their dark tree minds leading him downward.’
In the end, I was convinced of the poem’s integrity, which is one of feeling, evocation and resonance rather than of straight narrative. The title had extended its meaning, trees had become ‘vast oak doors’, and ‘the waning main street’ of a town subjected to constant modern development was fleetingly revisited. This poem is dense, allusive, and uncanny.
The second prize goes to ‘Service’ (PF?), which is quite the opposite type of poem to the winner. It has well-defined parameters, offering a character sketch of the sacristan of St Paul’s Baroque Church as he goes about his tasks ‘in the sumptuous hush of this dark interior’.
The sacristan is indeed a ‘sacristan type’, and in the final verse paragraph, we are given a glimpse of his home, where
‘His wife is careful
with the light cottons he favours
in this Mediterranean heat,
mindful of his preference
for lamb stew, the sweet tooth
she satisfies with honey cake.’
This poem builds up a picture of a man who is revered at home for the divine ambience of his workplace, but who is in reality a person of limited horizons, a slave of routine. One wonders what would happen if he didn’t get his honey cake! The language is careful not to labour the point, offering us instead an opening onto the sacristan’s mode of presence in two domestic interiors, the house of God and his own house. ‘Service’ is a well-made poem, using an economy of telling detail to paint a diptych.
Third prize is shared between ‘The Caileach’ (PF 77) and ‘Talkers’ Country’ (PF69).
‘The Caileach’ is a clever reworking of a cautionary Irish fable or myth directed against women who might ‘lose the run of themselves’, become witches and get themselves imprisoned in rocks. It is witty and satirical, with sexual undertones:
‘Domestic duties
fly out the door. She grows slovenly
and wild……
A saint wanders
into the picture, or maybe a bishop.
She takes a shine to his
magic stick made of Bog of Allen oak.
He chases her to the shore
at Beara, the summary petrifaction.’
The tone changes towards the end, however, leading to a reversal, in which women are seen as having been imprisoned in stone from the start, trying to get out:
‘a woman can tell how hard and for
how long she herself – in
the manner of her mother before her
and her mother’s mother – has
had to bang her head against the stone,
to wear it down, make it open.’
The working of the fable into a luminous metaphor elicits our assent. It shows, rather than tells us about, the oppression of women. Rhythmically, the poem moves well and the language is pleasantly colloquial.
‘Talkers’ Country’ is an ironically intended warning about not going against the herd, particularly in their targeting of individuals for opprobrium and scapegoating.
‘If someone else is framed for the sake of one wicked laugh,
then laugh you must as well, if you want to uphold
the night and keep the gathering going.’
I like the phrase ‘uphold the night’ with its double entendre: ‘prolong the night’s crack’ or ‘support the night (= evil, malice)’.
The poem takes an interesting turn when a neighbour dies and ‘laughter comes to grief’. Another double entendre here, because it is not long before the mourners are exchanging hilarious anecdotes about the deceased at his wake, the upshot being that ‘everyone [is] laughing till he cries’.
This poem is well constructed in rhyming quatrains. An acerbic piece which looks at the frequent inanity of our customary gatherings.
TEN POEMS SPECIALLY COMMENDED:
‘Exchanging essentials’. (PF82)
A close runner for third prize. A poem about the act of writing itself, with the aid of the muse in the guise of an angel. Has a rhythmical fluidness. Last lines notable:
‘I look into his eyes and know
he has stared at uncertainties
longer than I.’
‘The Paradox of Clouds’. (PF50)
A poem that needs some work. Rather verbose particularly in the first verse paragraph, with too many participles. However, there’s a lot happening here, in shifts of association.
‘Ode to my Slippers (After Neruda)’ (PF30)
A delightful piece of fantasy.
‘Suburban Sonnet’ (PF63)
A well-wrought sonnet about finding a dead cat, with reflections on our indifference to the deaths of animals, and ending with an ironic rhyming couplet..
‘Dropping Off’(PF 111)
Explores the gaps in time which must be avoided when dropping off to sleep. Well-paced poem for most of the way, though I thought it ended rather abruptly.
‘Spare Us the Moonlight’(PF58)
An unusual idea. Fine image of the moon as a lost eyelash. The following image is difficult to see or understand.
‘Words sounds’(PF83)
A straightforward descriptive piece. Chosen here for three striking lines which show greater potential in the poetic use of language:
‘Dusty tracks under my feet; on them
lines shape themselves, fill
their own spaces, become afternoon.’
‘Rooks Encountered’. (PF80)
Great descriptive gusto displayed. Hopkinsian, but too much alliteration.
‘Golden’ (PF109)
Nice idea that silence isn’t always golden. ‘Give me a noise, anything will do…’ The rhythms are rather jerky in the first half. I liked ‘the hiss of bus doors/ opening, like a machine panting’.
‘Magnolia’ (PF116
A sonnet which begets truly sensuous and vivid images of the magnolia. However, the diction is rather archaic, and the dropping of definite articles is a distraction, a small irritant.
CIARAN O’DRISCOLL, 14 MAY 2008
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